I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
