I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
