she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize