it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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