Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
