Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
