I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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