You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
