went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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