summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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