Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
