Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize