he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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