Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
