North Korea, Best Korea!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize