and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
