I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
