the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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