we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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