so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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