Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
babies were throwing up all over the place
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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