he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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