You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
