I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
