He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize