please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I look better un-naked...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
