I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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