my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize