Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
