After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
