i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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