my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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