therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
