THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
