he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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