there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
