im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
