You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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