South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize