No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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