"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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