Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
