Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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