Define "chronic" masturbator.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have tasted many bathrooms
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
