If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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