She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
