Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize