we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
