garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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