dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
