I can't watch pbs sober anymore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
