wanna go halves on a baby?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
