Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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