Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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