margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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