Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
