just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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