when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
