you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
