What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize