Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
