Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How's work?
Spinning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
