Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize