you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
