Since when is my name a synonym for head?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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