Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
