i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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